Topic: Moving in with MILF
I don't want to sound unappreciative of Nelson's efforts to rehabilitate me, but I am leaving the ship to go live with MILF (My Internet Lady Friend) for a while. Nelson is a great guy and outstanding pirate, but a couple weeks ago he took off for Canada and left me alone on the ship with only 30 bags of cheesy puffs to sustain me.
Like I said, Nelson is a swell guy but MILF has an unlimited supply of cheesy puffs and also I really like when she scratches my belly *woof woof*.
So, MILF is picking me up at the pier today and taking me to live with her. We've got a lot of fun planned, and also she's going to help me write the stories of my past (and present) adventures.
See, I haven't always been super honest with you folks...it's time I laid it on the level. I'm not just a regular old doggie. I am actually a doggie secret agent, specially trained in the arts of Dog Fu, Poo Jitsu, and Tai Chihuahua. I can't tell you about my mission just yet...have to clear it with the Alpha Director of Public Affairs at my agency first. They're already a little irked about me revealing a few doggie secrets here, so I gotta be careful.
But I will tell you this: there is a reason why some of us dogs don't get along with cats, squirrels, bunnies and other wily critters. If you keep reading my blog you will soon find out what that reason is.