Some of you might be wondering how it is that I fell off a boat and came to be BFF with Nelson Cooke, a fine pirate.
Well I'm not at liberty to discuss the details, but suffice it to say I got in a little scrap with a mangy chihuahua and had to run from the law for a while. Lucky for me that Dog Officer was a hunk of lard. I ran to the pier and stowed away aboard a vessel named "Bite Me." After devouring an entire pack of fudge-striped cookies I found on deck, I fell asleep.
When I awoke we were at sea and Captain Meaney had me chained to the rail. I howled but he threw an empty rum bottle at me and told me to shut it. Later on he moved me down into the cabin and chained me to his treasure chest, telling me to keep all marauders away. HA! I managed to chaw off a chunk of his generous buttocks in the process but that just made him real mad and he "forgot" to feed me his leftover chicken bones for three days.
Finally in the middle of the night I heard a commotion up above, and as the noise moved towards the cabin I perked up, ready for action. Suddenly the door flung open and Captain Meaney stumbled backwards through, fighting off a handsome pirate who was clearly winning the action. The pirate gave an awesome kick to the belly, sending Captain Meaney across the room where he landed in a heap.
As the pirate advanced towards me and the treasure chest, Captain Meaney grumbled "Sick 'im Teddy! Bite 'im good! You're in for it now marauder--that dog'll bite your arse off!"
The pirate looked me and rubbed his chin. I sat down. "I might have some use for you, pup," he said. He leaned down and unchained me. I helped him carry the treasure chest up and out to his vessel and he threw me a few cheesy puffs. Yum!
Before we left I ran down to the cabin again and cautiously approached the fallen Captain Meaney. "Git away you useless fleabag!" he spat, holding onto his ribs where Nelson karate-kicked him.
"WOOF! WOOF WOOF! RAWWRF" I said (my name's not Teddy and you smell bad!)
. Then I lifted my leg, and peed on him.
is my new BFF. He feeds me plenty of cheesy puffs and doesn't chain me up. Here's my shaw from Flarq.
p.s. the video that Nelson posted is just me demonstrating how quickly I can spring into action.
Posted by sea-rover
at 10:50 AM EST
Updated: Friday, 1 April 2005 2:34 PM EST